ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
