That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
