Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I could fuck to npr.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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