Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
