why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm passing your future prison.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
