38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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