just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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