We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
