...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
