She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I had to cum in my sink.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
