this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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