i think my tv is drunk
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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