whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
