Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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