He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
