Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
