I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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