just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
