From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
