Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
