I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
