She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
