youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
