i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
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