If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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