drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
