Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
