I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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