Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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