I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
