Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i dont even know how to be here
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
