To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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