the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
