I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Randomize
