Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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