me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I will be naked everywhere
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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