There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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