Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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