That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
