Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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