I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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