I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
