Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
