I just made out with a guy for $7.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Define "chronic" masturbator.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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