I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Randomize
