Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
