So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
