that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize