I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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