No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
