I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
