If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
