I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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