I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I'm at about main and main street
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
