I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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