I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize