haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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