You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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