No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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