I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She is in my trunk
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
