so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
